SONGS FROM THE BEST CONCERT(S) YOU'VE BEEN TO
If you thought these rankings sucked before, just wait until I rank songs from 30 concerts I’ve never been to. Maybe it was a great concert and you hate my ranking. Maybe you blacked out long enough and only think it was good. Regardless, if I’m going to dump on your fondest memories, it’s only fair that you know why. Rankings will be based on many factors, including but not limited to artist fame, iconic performances, expansive discography, demand for shows, musical talent, entertainment factor, and the ability of an average person to enjoy the show. If you don’t agree with that, don’t read on.
Tier 1
Born in the U.S.A., While My Guitar Gently Weeps, My Generation, I Won’t Back Down
These are the songs by musical titans, the artists you ask your parents if they saw, and the artists your kids will ask if you saw once they realize you’re old enough to have walked the earth at the same time. These legendary musicians and songs so obviously separate themselves from the rest of the pack that it almost artificially deflates everyone else an entire tier. This tier is the Woodstock of concerts.
Tier 2
Yellow, Empire State Of Mind, Two Step, Viva La Vida, Telephone, Mirrors, Dog Days Are Over, Sugar, Gravity, I Miss You, My Heart Will Go On, Before He Cheats, This Kiss, Wildfire, Howlin’ for You, Chicken Fried, Making Memories Of Us
Tier 2 is a combination of the world superstars (Lady Gaga, Justin Timberlake), the instrumental maestros (Dave Matthews Band, John Mayer), and the entertaining bands with enough pizzazz to keep you engaged for an entire concert (Florence + The Machine, The Black Keys.) These are the bands you would probably go to if given the chance (for a reasonable price) even if you aren’t the biggest fan. I can’t imagine anyone passing up a Coldplay concert, or even going and not having a great time. These artists all sell out for a reason, and not the bad sell out.
Tier 3
Somewhere in the Between, River, Medicine Woman, The Less I Know The Better, Seventeen, Some Nights, Wonderlust King, In the Name of Love, WOW, King Without a Crown, Everybody
These songs are all by artists with a more niche audience than the average music fan is a part of. However, anyone attending a concert by one of these artists would undoubtedly have a good time, regardless of their feelings on the genre. You show me someone who wouldn’t have a blast at a Gogol Bordello concert, and I’ll show you a total NERD. Ska not your thing? Go to a Streetlight Manifesto concert to become one with the brass instruments and now it is. Artists like Martin Garrix and Tiesto in the house genre may require more substance abuse than the others to fully appreciate, but it’ll be the best concert you can’t remember.
Tier 4
Take Me to Church, Living It Up, Rabid Animal, Two Princes
There is nothing inherently wrong with any of these songs or artists, just that the average music fan probably wouldn’t rush to go to any of these concerts or find themselves having an unexpectedly good time. I’m sure Hozier and Spin Doctors put on fine concerts, but can anyone name 3 songs by either of them without cheating or being one of the submitters? Damian Marley, while a GREAT concert performer, is probably best known for being Bob Marley’s child, which isn’t even that special considering he had 11. I’m sure these submitters had great times at these concerts, but those are memories for you.
Tier 5
Bright Lights
Like the Golden State Killer, this submitter thought he got away with the perfect crime, only to get caught later on. It was just a week ago in the “Songs not in English” playlist that he submitted “Il Est Cinq Heures,” which he shortly after illegally swapped for “Tunak Tunak Tun” (retroactively downgraded to Tier 5) in blatant defiance of the no swap rule. Compared to the GSK murders, this was an equally heinous crime. The punishment may be a week late, but unlike this submitter, punishment is better LATE than never. Who cares if this song is good or not, it’s like knowingly buying looted goods on Craigslist. We are better than that. The Lord of the Power Ranking’s network of Little Birds is always watching, and justice will always be served.
Conclusion
This is a perfectly mediocre playlist that honestly never had any chance of being great due to the song choice limitations and inherent lack of cohesiveness. That being said, there aren’t any bad songs, there’s a pleasant variety, and it’s honestly fairly upbeat and happy. If the outside and crowds are ever a thing again, at least one extra ticket will be sold solely to this playlist.
Perform On.
Best: “Born in the U.S.A.” - Bruce Springsteen
Props: “Wonderlust King” - Gogol Bordello, “Medicine Woman” - Robert Finley
Worst: “Bright Lights” Gary Clark Jr.
Playlist Rank: 7.4/10
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No Bens were harmed in the writing of these rankings.